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Ego

The most famous cliché you can read about ego is “edging god out”. Some say that even God has an ego. Then why does he feel the need to be worshiped everyday, ask some?
Leaving God for some time and moving on to a few definitions. Ego is a Latin word, which is derived from the Greek word meaning “ I “, often used to mean the self. The society’s concept of ego has been often the recognition of an arrogant and abusive behaviour.

What does the ego want? It wants to own everything, compare and dominate. This can be anyone, from your milkman to your mother-in-law. Is it satisfied? No. Never. It always believes I am separate from everyone. Once it is satisfied, then you are finished. It always exists in people who ask for more. MORE is the ego’s mantra.
Let’s start from a child’s ego. It starts receiving appreciation from parents, relatives and everyone around. It feels good and starts expecting an appreciation always. Now an ego is born. It is going to stay on with this child, because it is a byproduct of living with others.

Then the ego in a teen stage can be quite baffling. Lot of fuel for this ego comes from the parents and gadgets. The parents make their teens look like a knight in armor. They feel their kid is the greatest person living on planet earth. They also feel that the troublemaker in school, always, is the boy or girl sitting next. This strong artificial protection creates a big high for these teens. Mostly egoistic parents create such a fragile personality of their teens. They replace love with money and affection with credit cards, and ensure that their kids are always fully loaded. So with this mindset, these kids fear criticism in class and react to every minor scolding from their teachers.

Added to this, are the latest Smartphone’s and Gadgets, which they carry with pride. To flaunt a costly gadget is nothing but to intimidate another’s ego. All goes well till the next model arrives. The same can be said of designer clothes and labels.

Child Psychologist Dr. Allen Kanner says “ its the Meta message that you can solve all life’s problems by purchasing the right products, that’s having the most profound effect now.” Well, marketing companies and ad agencies thrive on their consumer’s ego. It’s their bread and butter. If not for ego, they would have shut shop and gone home. An article from “Driving teen egos through branding” says that these marketers distort the organic process of developing an identity by hooking a self-value to the brand.

There are a few exceptions too, though very rare. I have seen teens from very well to do families behaving absolutely normal and not carrying an air around them. That shows that their parents would have been very supportive and normal, and could have imbibed some real value systems on to them.
Now, its time to grow up and talk about the adult ego. This ego has just the carried forward inventory from the child stage. Most of the damage is done already, in this stage. So, if you are lucky and strong-minded, you can shed a few threads from the adult ego fabric and spin a new one.

English: Rajinikanth at the audio release of E...

English: Rajinikanth at the audio release of Enthiran (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The least we can do is to keep this adult ego in a tight leash. As adults,  there is always the ego playing with us. Be it a Scientist, a politician, an actor or a religious leader, or anyone, the mind is the same.

Actors can have the biggest egos. The hero-worship, the arc lights and fan following can create havoc into an actor. We have seen many actors fall flat after their market vanishes. They rewind and fast-forward their golden moments and wonder where have the fans gone? They have no answer to this question.

On the contrary, just write the name Rajinikanth. There you have a global brand, millions of fan following, but so what? All this stardom hasn’t changed this man. He has his feet firmly on the ground and moves like a common man.

So there are a few exceptions here too. He recently said at an audio launch function that if you start lifting your collars you might have to lose a few buttons. True.

Mahendra Singh Dhoni at Adelaide Oval

Mahendra Singh Dhoni at Adelaide Oval (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Even a cricketer like M.S.Dhoni would be a strong contender for this ego less crown. During cup triumphs, we see him smiling more often in group photos in a corner, and avoiding to be the centre of attraction. He lets the cup of joy be carried by his teammates.

Ok now what about religion? All religions were founded to do good and there ends the matter. Only when man takes religion into his own hands and tries to manipulate it for his own benefit, then it becomes an ego trip.
To sum it up , here is an interesting blog “Sam’s thoughts” which says it all in black and white. Without an ego you won’t have toes to step on. No feelings to hurt. No battles to win. No grudges to hold. No jealousy to feel. No revenge to take. No faults to allocate. No knowledge to prove.

Are we listening?

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The New Bride

Mom..Mom….Mamma where are you? Sankar went to the guest room, then to the terrace, but no sign of Mom. Then he went to the Pooja room, and ” Ma, we have to be at the girls place at 7.30, and you are doing your usual bhajan. ” Vimala admired her most obedient son and went on a rewind mode. How the years flew so quickly?

Sankar is now, all ready, to get married, and that too to a girl of her choice. How rare? Can such a thing happen these days? Krishnan and Vimala had given full freedom to Sankar. But they had placed a few conditions. He had to study mechanical engineering and the second one is, to marry a girl of their choice, and the third one , the bride had to be fluent in spoken english. They wanted to be on equal terms with Dinesh & family, their neighbors.

Dinesh’s wife would always talk to her as if she just came out of the “White House”. Vimala now wanted to take revenge on her by bringing in a wonderful bride who can speak the language most perfectly, with good table manners, a girl, to show her eating skills with a fork and spoon. Vimala had tried all this, but failed miserably. Once, at a kitty party, Vimala tried hard to lift a paneer tikka  with a fork. The harder she tried, the paneer eluded her. Finally she managed to stab the paneer ruthlessly and lifted the fork, but the paneer flew past a few tables and landed on Geeta’s costly embroidered blouse. The whole party got into a laughing mode, and was news for the whole week.

thebigfatindianwedding.com

Krishnan, Vimala and Sankar landed at 7.35 pm, which was the chosen auspicious time to see the ” bride to be ” Kalpana. Sankar’s and Kalpana’s horoscopes matched perfectly and this function was a mere formality. Kalpana was dressed in a red Kanchivaram silk saree and walked towards Sankar’s parents and offered them steaming hot coffee. Vimala blessed her as she touched her feet. ” You look wonderful, Child” she said. Kalpana smiled shyly. By now Sankar was fidgety and wanted to speak to her and sensing this, Vimala gestured gracefully and gave permission to take Kalpana to the next room for a one to one chat.

Sankar nervously sat down on the brown Victorian sofa and admired Kalpana. ” Thanks Kalpana, after our horoscopes matched I was waiting for this moment to speak to you. It took two long weeks. Hmm.  Kalpana, why so silent? Anything wrong?” Kalpana shook her head as if to say everything is ok. She opened her handbag and took out a piece of paper and handed it to Sankar. Sankar was confused. He read the note ” Sankar da, I’m in “mouna virath” today, yes that means I wont speak the whole day. It is a offering to God Shiva. And, I love you so much. All green lights – from Kalps.”

4vector.com

Sankar came out of the room beaming with delight and showed a thumps up sign to his parents.

Their marriage was a gala affair, and the reception was hosted in style. Since Mr. Krishnan was a well known industrialist the “who’s who” of Chennai attended the reception and Sankar’s proud parents were smiling throughout. Why not? They had a stunner of a bride, rather “neighbors envy, Sankar’s pride.”

Sankar was inspecting the bedroom decorated with jasmine flowers. He was waiting for his better half. Kalpana came in softly, leaving behind her giggling cousins who were whispering softly to her ears. She pushed them away and closed the door. Then she ran and hugged Sankar. She said “Sankar da, please please forgive me, I know little little English only. Your mother giving tough time to my pappa, always speak English, think English. I fed up. That day I gave note to you written by sister. I told lie about “Mouna Virath”. I know only so small English. I also like hands ,no fork and spoon. Don’t hit me.”

Sankar fainted on the bed, and woke up after some chill splashes of water drops. Kalpana was at kissable distance curiously looking at him.”OK Kalpana. If my Mom hears this tomorrow, we both will be leading our lives in the garage. So until things settle down, note down these words and always say them when she chats with you. Say chill, Auntie. Awesome Auntie.” Kalpana asked ” Why Sankar da, Chill Chill, it is only for cool drinks na. Why I say it?”

Sankar raised his voice.” For you and your parents acting  I would have hung you in this ceiling fan. Don’t question me now. Just do as I say ” Kalpana replied” “OK, OK, Please don’t do anything to me”.

By now, Sankar was tired of coaching Kalpana the whole night. He poured two glasses of water and gulped it down quickly. “Ignorance indeed is bliss, he thought to himself” and drifted to sleep.

Walk in the Park

Left, Right, Left, Right……..forward march.. Gajendran started his usual evening walk with his wife, inside the MOP Park. This has been his usual routine for the past five years. His Doctor’s advice. “You have turned forty years Gajendran. Don’t miss even a day. This one hour walk will reduce your cholesterol and BP, and reduce my Bill.” Gajendran took this advice seriously from day one. At seven in the evening he would even miss wearing his shoes, but would never miss his wife accompanying him in his walk. They held hands together and walked with such force and vigour that passers-by could feel air gushing out by the swing of their hands. Today was no different except that it was a bit more crowded, since it was Saturday evening.

MOP Park

The Park Garden had a nice stretch and the right mix of greenery and plants laid out on both sides. Gajendran was unusually walking faster today, since he had to catch the 11 pm Mangalore Mail. His grip on his wife’s hand was a bit harsh, and at times she yelled out in pain.

As they took the final bend, the lights in the park flickered once, then again, then it went out. Complete black out. Gajendran didn’t see the manhole in front, and tripped and fell down, but luckily he rolled over and didn’t hurt himself. He got up, rather fast, did not wait to clean up, then caught his wife’s hand and started walking much faster. Now he was nearly in jogging mode. She shouted ” Ouch “, “What is this”. “Ooh ” As Gajendran was reaching the exit gate, there was a crowd of policemen checking everybody. Gajendran instantly knew the cause of the search. One smart policeman came forward and blocked Gajendran and smiled sarcastically. He said ” Look Mr. You look pretty decent. Where do you work? It is only 7.30, and how dare you can do this in this public park. Look at your age. You must be forty and she must be twenty. How dare you can bring girls inside the park and do “Jalsa”. You should set an example for youngsters. OK. Walk to that Mobile Court. The Judge is waiting. We don’t have time.”

Gajendran turned to look at his wife and was horrified. “Oh God, Sorry, What have I done, Sorry who are you?”. The dark girl with full make up splashed all over her face was fuming. She slapped Gajendran and said ” You idiot, You have dragged me for nearly ten minutes, in this useless garden , just to drop me in the mobile court. Now go there and pay the fine.”

missed-calls

Gajendran was nearly crying now, and his phone was vibrating along with him. He took it out and the screen read ” Thirty eight missed calls”.

His wife was waiting at the entrance gate. Thirty eight missed calls in ten minutes. She was wondering what was going on.

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